I needed a spot to ramble. Some days my head is so full of thoughts, I need a place to put them all. This isn't just about my family, or day-to-day things, it's all about me, just me and what I am thinking at the moment. An attempt at journaling, perhaps. And a place where I can finally use all the girly, froo-froo backgrounds. :) Yay. What prompted me to start my own "thought" blog was my day today. It was a perfect day. A rather ordinary day, but one that meant a lot to me. It was the first day in a long time where we were all home, my family and I, together, just hanging out, no schedule, no work pressures, just life. This may seem common place to most, but to us, it's rare. Our lives are busy, it's seems we're constantly off running in some direction or another. So to just be home and "be" was so needed and just what the Dr. ordered. I have been working tons. Too much. I am cutting back. Way back. I finally secured a set schedule, two days a week, and after wrapping up a few obligations over the next few weeks, I am sticking to my two 12hr shifts a week. 5 days off, 2 days on, can't beat that. I am exhausted and burned out. Working nights so I can be home during the day for my kids is what I want, but it takes a toll. Plus I am gearing up to jump back into school. The thought exhausts me, but I have to stay focused on the end-goal. I want to be a nurse. It's my calling in life. I am around it all the time and I love it. It just seems like a gigantic mountain in front of me. One step at a time...I can and will do it. But I can't think about all of that right now.
Also, today was a gorgeous day (considering it's January in Utah) 50 degrees and sun, it lifted my spirits. I cracked all the windows and threw open the front door allowing the sun to stream in through the storm door. Fresh air filled our house, bringing with it a crispness and pushing out the stagnant. The kids played outside for a bit, tested out their new scooters from Christmas, ran around with friends, got a good dose of vitamin D and ran off some pent-up energy. I sat on my porch steps like I often do in the warmer weather, watching them and soaking in the sun as well. How I miss spring. I will never love summer, but spring, spring I enjoy, and miss. I was even able to observe buds on my trees and the tiny tips of daffodils peeking through the ground. The daffodils I planted that first Fall we moved into this home. This will be their 7th year blooming. Amazing.
Later in the day we ran a bunch of errands as a family and even stopped for a bite to eat. Again, another rarity. We rarely drag the kids to the store, much less a restaurant. Dave runs his errands, I run mine. If we eat out, it's take-out. But today was different and it was good and enjoyable. Cozy and fun. All of us together. I love my little family and my patient, good-hearted husband. I will keep today's sunshine and warmth with me as the weather returns to its wintry normal this week and snow once again falls upon us. I will also keep the warmth of my family with me as I work into the lonely mornings in the cold, sterile ER.
It was a good day. I am so thankful for life moments that allow us to just stop and soak it all in and appreciate all we have. The warmth of holding my husband's hand. The laughter and silliness of my children. My quaint, cozy home. I will never again take for granted the simple days. And perhaps the reason why I am up so late is that I don't want to accept that this day is over by falling asleep, waking up to reality and schedules, and busy-go-go-go.
